At karate, I asked one of the Advanced Belts if she knew how to fix a tire. She gave me a quick lesson on bicycle repair, which was really helpful. Shout-out to her.
Today, I walked to the Furnaceville Bike and Psych Shop and bought a new tube. Then I went to the Local Hippie Grocery Store, where they have bicycle repair tools (because riding bikes saves the planet, dude!), and proceeded to use the tire shoe horn to take off the tire. Shout-out to the dude who helped me with the tire shoe horn, and the store's door greeter who saw me struggling with the tire pump and gave me a hand.
FINALLY, after what seemed like hours of struggling with the stupid thing, I got everything back together. Even filled up the front tire some more. So now I have a bicycle with a back wheel that rubs against the frame making the most horrific noise, a gearshift that takes forever to shift the gears, a lousy kickstand, a chain that needs lubricant in a big bad way ... and two. Working. Tires. Awesome.
So now it's okay for me to spend the afternoon watching TV, because I have Accomplished Something today. Maybe tomorrow I'll fix the back wheel so it doesn't make that horrific "chain is about to shear off" noise when it rubs against the frame ...